THE POWER OF STARTING AGAIN
When we move on in our lives to something new, we often say, “I’m starting over.” We broke up; I’m starting over. I quit my job; I’m starting over. I relocated; I’m starting over. Every time I hear someone say they are starting over I picture the Monopoly guy erasing their life progress and sending them back to GO. We never actually start over in life. Instead, we start again. We start again with more experience and tools than we’ve ever had before. Everything we do teaches us something new, and every experience leaves us changed in some notable way. The next time you face a change in your life, confidently step into it and start again knowing these five things.
Your new perspective will be your compass. As we continue to experience new things in life, our perspective evolves. The more exposure we get to different people, relationships, jobs, and so on, the more we learn how aligned we really are (or are not) with the people and things in our lives. Utilize your new perspective to continue developing and expanding in ways that feel right to you.
Your acquired tools will help you through the challenges. As you move toward change, reflect on what you have learned from the experience you are leaving behind. Are there things you could have said better or sooner? Are there things you said that didn’t need to be said at all? Are there moments when you should have set a boundary but didn’t? Think about how you will handle challenges more tactfully in your new experiences. As you move forward, recognize the changes you’ve made that help you navigate situations more smoothly so you can continue to integrate and strengthen the tools you’ve acquired.
Your values will give you the determination to not deviate. Once you see something, it is hard to unsee it. It’s kind of the same with values. It’s a real kick in the gut to realize that you might have to set your personal values aside to be a part of something you either once thought you wanted to be a part of or feel you need to continue being a part of. It’s like selling your soul—don’t sell! Keep your focus on what is important to you and be determined to never deviate from working in a direction that is aligned with your values. Not for a family member, friend, lover, or job. Never compromise your values.
You are more capable now than ever. I remember the first meal I made, like the first actual meal, not ramen in a cup. I spent all afternoon doing the things in the kitchen I had watched my Italian grandmother do my entire life, some of which I had helped her with. Every holiday, I helped roll gnocchi and wheel out fettuccine noodles. I’ve got this, right? Nope, sure did not. It was the most terrible thing I had ever seen on a plate, and it somehow tasted even worse. For the first few years after that first “meal” I made, every time I walked into the kitchen, it felt like a science experiment that I did not have the money to continue funding. Today, I walk into the kitchen sometimes with no plan, turn on my French Café station on Pandora, and I know with full confidence something not only edible but tasty and nourishing will be presented as dinner. I know this without fail because I know that today I am more capable in the kitchen than I was as a teenager. This is the case with everything we do in life. The more you do it, the more you explore, the more you allow yourself to be curious, the better, more equipped, and more reliable you become.
Embracing new opportunities can lead to the greatest gifts of your life. As I write this, some of the many times I have started again are flowing through my mind. I’ve started again with love, jobs, friendships…and each time, I’ve experienced new dimensions of life that have given me the awareness to expand in what I now consider the most meaningful ways. Had I not been a bit wild-natured and allowed myself to pursue what I want in this life of mine (within reason, of course), I cannot imagine the experiences I would have missed out on or the parts of me that would not exist today. Going for what you want in life is a skill you develop, or somewhat of a callous, I suppose. You learn how it feels to not get what you want, but you learn to be proud that you were at least bold enough to try. You learn that just because something didn’t work in the past, that something doesn’t determine your success in the future. And most importantly, you learn that sometimes you must move on not only for your betterment but for the betterment of others. We all know people who stay at companies they aren’t happy with or in relationships they aren’t happy in because they are afraid of change, they are afraid of what others will think if they leave, or they find it easier to stay. You do yourself and others a disservice when you are not authentically present or aligned but choose to stay. Embrace that opportunity; see where you can go. The second worst thing that could happen is you make a mistake. The absolute worst thing that could happen is that you don’t try and will always wonder.
So, the next time you move onto something new, give yourself the credit you deserve and don’t say you’re starting over. Recognize that you are fortunate enough to start again, and know that this time, you have more tools and capabilities than ever before. Be courageous, live your best life, be your best self, and never, never stop starting again.
— Shannon Stein
