THRIVING THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS: TIPS TO SLEIGH YOUR HOLIDAY SEASON
The pressure to create the "perfect" holiday experience can leave us feeling drained, overwhelmed, and far from the joy this season is meant to bring. From endless to-do lists and holiday parties to the strain of financial commitments and high expectations, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. But with a little planning and a mindful approach, you can take control, reduce the stress, and make this holiday season one that’s merry and bright. Here are my tips to thrive—not just survive—and sleigh your holiday season!
Don’t overspend and rethink gift giving. Years ago, my family made the decision to stop exchanging holiday gifts altogether. None of us have kids, and for a group of independent adults, gift-giving felt more like a forced exchange of money than a meaningful gesture. Plus, there’s the hassle of wrapping: more time, more expense, and let’s be honest, more waste. Instead of swapping gifts, consider donating to a cause that’s close to your heart. I always gravitate toward animal-related organizations, while my husband focuses on supporting veterans. The holidays can be a lonely and challenging time for both people and animals, so why not celebrate the season by spreading kindness and compassion in a way that truly makes a difference? If you feel like doing something special for someone without spending money, consider writing them a heartfelt note. Share the things you don’t often say—what they mean to you, how they’ve impacted your life, or why you’re grateful for them. Expressing your genuine appreciation and feelings is a gift that money can’t buy and one they’ll treasure forever.
Make time for things that nurture you. In the days leading up to or between events, think about what feels refreshing and grounding to you. For me, it’s quiet morning walks, a midday yoga flow, and evening tea—simple, achievable rituals I gift myself daily and carry through the holidays. Sometimes, I’ll treat myself to something bigger, like a massage or a reiki session. When choosing what nurtures you, aim for activities that don’t also drain you. For example, I love my Blanton’s Old Fashioneds, but they definitely take as much as they give. Focus on activities that truly replenish and restore you. If you’re in a relationship, use the holidays as a chance to spark some romance. Here are a few simple ideas:
Set aside time just for the two of you.
Reminisce about your first holiday together.
Watch your favorite holiday movies (ours are Elf and Bad Santa).
Cook a festive meal and pair it with fun cocktails.
Put together a thoughtful gift basket with items that bring back memories of your early days, cozy matching robes, a bottle of your favorite wine or spirit, and maybe some spicy games to heat things up. And hey, if you’re feeling adventurous, throw in something new to explore together.
If you have children, this tip becomes even more important. Scheduling time to nurture yourself and your partnership sets an example that self-care matters, rather than fostering unhealthy and unrealistic expectations for managing the holidays.
Don’t over-plan. Seriously—don’t over-plan. Schedule downtime, and don’t be so rigid about sticking to your plans that you sacrifice your peace, your partner’s peace, or your family’s peace. For those of us who live far from family, this is especially important. I live in Connecticut, one of my brothers lives in Washington, and we usually meet once a year in Ohio, where our other brother and parents live. This is the one time each year I get to be with both of my brothers, so I don’t make plans outside of my immediate family during this trip. While I know this disappoints some extended family and friends, I’m clear about my priority for the holiday visit. It can be uncomfortable to tell other loved ones I can’t see them, but I’ve learned to focus on what matters most. It’s hard for people who’ve never lived far from family to fully understand, and that’s okay. Once you’re clear on your priorities, it becomes easier to dedicate your time—and let go of any guilt about it.
Know your social time limit. Before attending any event, consider who will be there and decide how long you plan to stay. Discuss this with anyone you're going with and be mindful of signs that you might be reaching your limit. For me, 3-4 hours of social time is usually my sweet spot. Of course, there are some people I could spend endless time with, and others… well, let’s just say no amount of time feels like the right amount. If it helps, let the host know ahead of time how long you plan to stay so there aren’t any surprises or awkward moments when it’s time to leave. If you end up having a blast and stay longer, great! But having that mental “out” can prevent you from feeling stuck—and might actually help you enjoy yourself more than you expect.
Have a plan for dealing with frustrating family members. Let’s face it—family dynamics are often the biggest challenge of the holiday season. Old conflicts can resurface, and if certain family members seem stuck on who you used to be, it can make it hard to feel comfortable or even want to be around. If you choose to attend gatherings with difficult relatives, go in with a clear sense of how you want to be and feel at the gathering. For example, if I want to be relaxed and feel happy and loved, I know I’m not going to spend time with my grouchy uncle. Nope. Not happening. I’ll say hello, maybe goodbye, and otherwise dodge him like Pac-Man dodges ghosts. It’s also helpful to have a response ready in case someone brings up a topic you’d rather avoid. Something like: “I’m so happy to be here and spend time with everyone, but that’s not something I want to discuss.” Practicing this out loud and keeping it in your back pocket can help you avoid getting pulled into unwanted conversations. By thinking ahead about how you want to experience the gathering, you can prepare for situations that might throw you off track. Right before any holiday event, remind yourself of your plan, and Pac-Man away from any ghosts of Christmas past.
Remember, you don’t have to conform to others' expectations for how you spend your holidays. If you start feeling guilty about skipping an event or not staying as long as someone might prefer, pause and remind yourself of the holiday experience you want to create. Then, move forward confidently, knowing you’re doing the holidays your way. When you prioritize your well-being, you create the space for yourself and those you share the holidays with to truly connect and make meaningful memories.
—Shannon Stein
